What's that sound?

Hello again.
Obviously Johnny is  bored out of his socks. Two posts in a night? That's record breaking for Johnny.

Seriously, how do you spell that sound you make when you are frustrated either with that inconsiderate man walking ever so slowly as if the road belongs to him, or the client that keeps making changes over changes.

Wanna hear what he mean? Here it is. The Sound

What do you think? With instant messenging we all use today, how do we spell that sound when we are communicating with someone?

Should it be TSK?

Johnny thinks that, since you have to purse your lips like an M before you make that sound, it makes the word a silent M.

Therefore... mmmmmCHEK!

What say you? Post your comments!

Johnny lost a big bunch of hair

Corporate Identity Page Finally Completed with Video

After months of sitting on his fat butt, Johnny decided to finally create the corporate identity page due to constant requests from clients. Tsk Tsk. Click here to visit the web page now.

Couple of weeks back, Johnny's Obessesive Design Dedicates were given a project to create a brand identity for Training Vision's Hife Club. Grinning from ear to ear, Johnny picks up his pencils and markers (no crayons please) and started to doodle.

Sketches are important to both budding and old bird* designers. Why? Here's why (this sounded suspiciously like Sue in Glee).

OLD BIRD [Veteran (vet•er•an |ˈvetərən; ˈvetrən|)]
The direct translation from the Hokkien dialect. It means a person with long experience in a particular field.

When a designer starts to sketch, the drawings are not limited to the technical capability of the DTP software such as illustrator, corel draw or even photoshop (never use photoshop for identity programmes!). This means that whatever the designer envision in his little mind, he can produce it with pencils. Going into computer straight means that the designer will have the tendency to draw something with the software tools that he is comfortable with, thus missing out great logo opportunities.

Let's take a look at the following and you'll have a clearer idea.

Aha! With these sketches, Johnny can proceed to design a good variety of logos. Of course, Johnny is not going to share the entire process (intellectual property rules apply). The complete and approved logo looks like this.

Everyone is happy, especially Johnny and his wallet.

Do remember to check out the portfolio page, as there is a Flash Video showcased. Johnny is not shouting in this huge font size, he is merely REMINDING YOU.

Eating snake

Johnny is frustrated. He is supposed to update his blog every week. Now, the weekly affair becomes a monthly affair. Bah! He might as well eat snake from his work and update his blog.
[Eat snake : Jiak Jua in Hokkien] Eat snake means loafing from work. Tsk.

Well, there are lots of things happening in Johnny's life lately. It includes a new door and a new signage. Very nice indeed. Now everyone will be able to find the ODD with the embolden facade. Everything is about EGO. The bigger the better, and the louder the clearer.

Tada! Here it is. The main signage, the door and the little details in that door. Talk about advertising, heh heh.

I know you like it. If you REALLY do, drop a comment.

Wait! There's more! Johnny is currently very busy with a branding campaign for an education membership club. More will be revealed in the next blog. Stay tune.

Death By Hoarding

The maiden Hoarding Display design by ODD - Shooting Fish Communications.
Definitely not an easy feat. Of course I am not talking about the design— I am referring to the installation!

In case you have no idea what I am rambling about, a hoarding display is a gimongous* piece of installation that blocks shoppers from unsightly renovation debris and stuff. Get it?  
[*Gimongous = kick ass huge! Gi from Giant, Mon from Monster and Gous from err… Gous!]

Inhaling too much soap water can give you a high... yet soap water is so necessary to remove those unsightly bubbles. o.O

12 a.m in the morning. Installation starts. Problem arises.
Contractor that fabricated the hoarding did not follow the blue print.
Door positions are shifted.
Stickers need to be reprinted.
GOD DAMN IT!

But nothing can stop Johnny and his minion from completing the job. Heh.

Here's the design, on paper.

Lesson 1: Never assume that things is going to be smooth sailing during installation.
Lession 2: Always always plan your pieces properly when sending to print. You are quite screwed if you get it wrong.
Lesson 3: To design a 13.2 meter by 3 meter long hoarding display or banner in Adobe Illustrator, always work in reduced size proportionately.

After some huffing and panting, not to mention lots of ladder climbing, the work is complete (pardon the lousy photo).

Mission accomplished. I (Johnny) is happy.

Nothing is possible without the help of my minion.

Rest, we shall have, finally.











 

To Pitch Or Not To Bitch?

There is this age-old discussion about pitching, tendering, Gebiz and what not.

So you are hungry— for new projects, new clients and all. Along comes a client that is impressed with your previous work, but still wanted to see what you can do.

You got the brief. You are required to participate in a cost and creative pitch— all for free. AND MANDATORY!

What is this?
Free work?

My question is, why should we provide free creative proposals to clients and not being paid for it?

Client’s on the other hand, will argue that they need to see the creative capability of the agency before awarding a S$100,000 project.

Granted and understood.

Then start paying for the proposals… sheesh. Don’t be such a stingepot. [Stingepot = a stingy pot, new English according to Johnny]

Every creative work requires man hours, dedication, wrecking of brain cells and many other you know not that happens in the agency. These good people deserves to be paid for their effort, even if their proposals were not shortlisted and awarded.

Several years back, Johnny attended a seminar by the IPOS (Intellectual Property of Singapore) about protecting patents and intellectual rights. One of the speakers said something about “Say NO to free pitches!”. Everyone applauded and all. However, till date, statutory boards are still demanding for free creative proposals as a mandatory requirement to qualify for selection. Oh… and Hear Ye… Hear Ye… some even demanded for a minimum of 2 creative proposal!

Preposterous!

Woe to us creative agencies and a greater woe for young and struggling ones.

Johnny is definitely bitching about this and refuse to comply with this ‘Free Pitch”. How about you?

What is your brand promise?

Several weeks ago on a Friday, Johnny was involved in a chain collision at the ECP expressway with a city cab taxi sticking to his butt. His fave car’s butt was smashed.

Johnny was realllllllly unhappy.
Immediately on the same day, Johnny filed for the claim with his agent.

Apparently, FIRST CAPITAL INSURANCE LIMTED was the agency for the Taxi.
Check out their claims promise in the inset.

(Image source: http://www.first-insurance.com.sg/claim.html)

So... it takes 3 days to acknowledge the claim huh?

That didn’t happen.

5 working days later, the surveyor from First Capital Insurance Limited was supposed to survey the damages and the time taken for the repair.

He didn’t appear.

Furious, Johnny called First Capital Insurance Limited to make a complaint on the following Friday (1 week from claim). The girl (Johnny decided not to reveal names for privacy sake), said the Assistant Manager will contact him.

Guess what?

He didn’t call. And it was 4 working days after that complaint. (See inset again for their promise)

Johnny made the phone call again and finally— this AH BENG sounding ‘ASSISTANT MANAGER’ called THE NEXT DAY (2 weeks from claim). He cannot even pronounce Johnny’s name properly and he sounded unprofessional and impatient. Johnny was busy with a photo-shoot on that day and the assistant manager failed to call back.

First Capital Insurance Limted, what is your brand promise that you so boldly claim on the website? Where is your corporate communications department? DO YOU EVEN KNOW, THE MEANING OF A BRAND?

Clearly, you don’t.

Fellow readers, beware… over promising and under delivering is the main contributor of brand suicide. In this case, FIRST CAPITAL INSURANCE LIMITED failed to live their promise as they so boldly claim. It is all bogus.

First Capital Insurance limited will NEVER be Johnny’s insurer and Johnny hopes you stay away from them too.

Stay tuned for more brand stories. Sheesh…

Microsoft, you are AMAZING!

13 years ago, I left you and swore I never look back,
The products you have were really, just slack.
In recent years I gave you a chance,
in hope that you’ll buck up your stance.
To my horror you don’t support div layers,
it’s a wonder why you have loyal stayers.
Outlook no longer support html edms,
isn’t it a step back to Boney M?
I salute you, Microsoft!

Really.
Isn’t it amazing to know that technology actually moves backwards? Well, at least to me, Microsoft does. Not only Outlook doesn’t support EDMs, Internet Explorer loves to jumble up your div layers that you so painstakingly designed. I almost screamed like Anne Hathaway in Bride Wars (when her hen’s night were flashed on the projector), as I saw my site being outraged and manhandled by I.E.

Oh yeah *rolls eyes*, there is a way to ‘cure’ that div layer problem with I.E. But I am not going to do it. What I have done is this (see picture). There, I really don’t quite care.



So I implore all of you, to use all other good web browsers and email client programme other than Microsoft to avoid frustration and eventually bursting that precious blood vessel of yours.

Life is too short to suffer such nonsense. Tsk.
Remember, there are many substitutes to their programmes. Use it, and you’ll be as happy as Johnny.

Welcome to Johnny Says

Glad you made it this far.

Johnny hopes that his ramblings will give you insights, philosophies and cultures of today’s creative and advertising industry, as well as addressing typical myths. Well, maybe not always the industry, but most of the time lamenting about work, clients, projects, pitches, bitches, etc.

Come share the experience, frustration and passion with Johnny as he tells you his tale.

OH! All statements made in this blog, however silly or offensive, are not intended to hurt anyone or organisation. It is purely Johnny's perception of the industry today.

Every site needs a disclaimer doesn't they? An easy way to get away from trouble with this "OH I SO DIDN'T MEAN IT BUT YET I SAID IT" sentence.

There we go *brushing hands*… Johnny's butt is insured.